Stripped

Shallow, Vain
Fascade to hide
my pain

troubled thoughts
through my mind
as they stare through
my behind

despite the pain in my glare
they all, jaw drop and stare

unveiled derobed
men wishing to see
me probed

disintigrating my
self respect

shrinking my self worth
contemplating
should i give birth

all for green paper
worthless trash
meaningless bills
gone in a flash

my feelings hurt, at best

why would i think
to put myself though
this shit - was i unaware
the way i may feel
this emptiness
that i cannot heal

naked
vulnerable
worthless
i cry

Complication

CondemNation
no red on white
only blues
baby blue
caught up in a striped
startled umbilical noose
mothers should
mainline love
through
the same stream
my child
you're a wasted dream.
i've opened up to show
strangers the sacred
front door to your home
fed you nothing but
dirt from the start
inhaling clouds of
smoke - and now
i've got no hope
just a choice
a decision that has
been made
i can give you life,
and take it away
just the same
this power makes
me bleed
and weep inside out
my child
precious but unwanted
i've done you nothing but wrong
an awful existence
i'l send you off
but i'll never forget
and i'll hold the thought
of what you could have been
dear to me - forever
so long as i live hopelessly
in this condomNation
with the right to choose

Ventilation

strolling the cyclical path
the downward spiral

walkway without breese
not one refreshing gust of wind

running in downward circles
no destination no change

without purpose
why no regret?
the numbness i seek

gasping for clarity
breathing deeply
your lies
running short
on steam

it's all the same
seeing the
stones fall
where they will
but pefore they're
placed

easier to take
the hard route

attached to the
familiar
running in circles

gasping for my own
s u f f o c a t i o n

Contemplation

Thought stream
traveling up the river
against the current
situation
in a bind
downstream

sorry and hate
words found
on my lips
all too often

inaudible cries
suffer in my
throat - silence
ahem

lured into
deeper oceans

unable to tread
at this depth
tired soul
sleepy feet

a step in the right
direction - quite
a feat

steppin on toes
going wichever way
the wind blows

blaming that
moisture on my
cheeks on rainfall
pit pat
drip drop
only time
will tell